With props to rogue …

You Are 8% Sociopath

You're empathetic, loyal, and introspective. In other words, there's no way you're a sociopath… but you can spot one pretty easily!

Are You A Sociopath?

Well, I feel good about the sociopathic score … I have no comment on this …

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty – with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it

What Famous Pinup Are You?

And, finally …

You Are a Soy Latte

At your best, you are: free spirited, down to earth, and relaxed. At your worst, you are: dogmatic and picky You drink coffee when: you need a pick me up, and green tea isn't cutting it. Your caffeine addiction level: medium

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

A few months back, I wrote some flippant bit that suggested that I have an excellent sense of direction. While I still believe this to be true, as this has always been true in the past, I have gotten lost (sort of) on my way to work three times in the past month. In a part of the world I know very very well. Let me explain.

I live in Toronto … I work, a few days a week anyway, in Guelph. Note Handy Reference Map below.

Toronto-guelph

Now, Guelph is not visible on this map. It is about 10 minutes drive further … er … left, past Campbellville on the 401.

Toronto to Guelph. Assuming (and perhaps I shouldn't) that north is where you expect it to be, Guelph is pretty much due west of Toronto, right?

I was at a business networking thing about six weeks ago, meeting perfect strangers and making chit chat. I was out in Guelph for this shindig and it isn't unusual at these things for talk to float around to where do you live and where do you work. The fellow that I was speaking with that day said, helpfully, "Oh – I know a shortcut from Toronto to Guelph – I do it all the time." This is where my trouble began.

I was led into short-cut temptation by my revulsion for the Gardiner/427/Airport route which is the route any rational person would assume is the natural way to get from downtown Toronto to Guelph. I find that, between the hours of 7:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m., people driving on the 427 have some kind of auto-lobotomy on the on-ramp and lose all their driving inhibitions. I hate it. So I was all ears when offered an alternative.

"It is easy," the devil man said. "Stay on the Gardiner/QEW to Winston Churchill, then just duck over to the 403 from Upper Middle Rd. Take 403 to 407 and you hit the 401 just before Milton … no more airport, and 20 minutes saved in rush hour by being in free flowing traffic."

Brilliant!!

Although I could visualize this easily (because, remember, I'm good at this spacial relationship stuff …), I did take the trouble to look this up on a real map and, lo and behold, it did seem to make sense. It looks good, right?

I tried this out the first time early in the a.m. on my way to Guelph. I missed the Upper Middle Road Turn off, but other than that I made it to the 403 from Burnhamthorpe Rd. Herein lies the root of this problem. Confronted with the choice of "403 West" or "403 East", remembering that I am heading WEST to Guelph, and that I haven't finished my first coffee just yet, I selected for my viewing pleasure that day "403 West".

Wrong.

You see, the designers of this highway assume that everyone travels from the very easternmost point to Hamilton which, in truth, is more south than west. But now I'm splitting hairs, I suppose. In any case, if you get on the 403 in Oakville and you select "West", you are actually travelling SOUTH EAST towards Hamilton.

I did manage to figure this out in fairly short order, cleverly noting that I was driving into the sunrise, not away from it.

So I exited, crossed over, and headed back in the direction from whence I came. Next, I was offered the choice of selecting "407 West" or 407 East". They don't give you much time to decide and it is pretty confusing, especially since the choice that would really be best ("407 North to 401") doesn't exist. I took a deep breath and selected "407 West" – mostly because "407 East" just sounded stupid since I am going to GUELPH for heaven's sake – and promptly found myself trundling back off (south east) towards Hamilton again.

I am ashamed to say that I repeated some version of this two more times before I started to recite the following to myself.

Morning – QEW to 403 EAST to 407 EAST to 401 WEST …. don't fight it … drive EAST to Guelph.
Afternoon – 401 East to 407 WEST to 403 WEST to QEW … don't fight it … drive WEST to Toronto.

The happy ending … now that I'm getting lost less frequently, the stress of the whole 427/airport lunacy is not missed. It is a very leisurely drive as long as I'm not arguing with myself about which direction I should be driving in.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Here in Toronto, there is a lively debate about increased taxes being levied to keep the city from going broke. With this on my mind thanks to Metro Morning, I stumbled on this little video, posted by markvancleve:

Bangkok Train

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I'm finding FaceBook a little surreal these days.

I just added my 76th friend to my list. Here are some entirely random observations as I review the list:

• the last two people that I "friended" are named Karen. One made a request of me, the other I sought out and "friended".
• three of the people on my list were in elementary school with me, but I haven't spoken or interacted with them in decades, nor would I be likely to without FaceBook
• 10 of my list are people I went to high school with; only one of whom is someone I've kept in semi-regular contact with over the years
• four of my list are people I've never actually met face-to-face, but I feel I know at least two of them better than anyone I went to elementary school with
• two of the people on my list are exes of mine
• I've known two of the people on my list all of their entire lives, meaning I remember when they were born. They are both in university now.
• a handful of people on my list (about five) are former students of mine.
• I see and interact with less than half of this list on a regular basis, face-to-face, yet these are the people that make FaceBook the most fun for me
• To my surprise, I don't have a single blood relative on my list.

In any case, all of these people – the far distant and the up close, the "would we really have anything to talk about now?" folks and the "can't wait until Monday night hockey" people, the "I've been so mad at you I could spit" and the " I've changed your diapers", the "we've never met but I think you are cool" and the "gawd I know you WAY too well …" – all them are standing in my virtual room, with various levels of engagement and interest, the details of which I am not privy to.

It is kinda weird.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Here is what is different
Between you and the others

When I think of the others
I smile and remember

Times we were both happy
Just being together

Inside jokes, routines
Simple pleasures of us

Rough times came, sure
But the dust has settled, sometimes years

And these pieces remain

When I think of you, I know
Now that you weren't really there

Your movement in the world is
Largely performance, projection

And I have no idea what was real
To you, if anything

It makes it easier to let go
In this instance, to shrug

But harder to start again.

Read and post comments

Circa 1982, the first year theatre programme presented our class with the tag-team instructional wizardry of Daddy John and F*ck-Up Bill. Daddy John and F*ck-Up Bill were instructors for the technical side of first year theatre, colloquially – shop. Building frames, painting canvas, props and set construction, lighting and sound. Their teaching styles were wholly oppositional. They would teach our class on alternating days. It went something like this …

Tuesday: Learning how to operate a drill press
Instructor: Daddy John (quiet and unassuming with a vaguely Jimmy Carter-esque quality …)
Everyone – please pay attention. This is a very useful, but dangerous tool. You can use it to drill holes in wood or other solid materials. It is very important to make sure that the item you are drilling into is firmly secured to the mount, like so. If it is loose, it could spin around and hurt you. Also, be very careful not to wear any loose clothing or dangly jewelry while operating this machine. Ok, let's everyone give it a try … one at a time, please.

Thursday: Reviewing the drill press
Instructor: F*ck-Up Bill (complete with cigarette dangling from his mouth – this was before the era of no indoor smoking …)
OK, people – listen up. This is the f*ckin' drill press, ok? See how there is a foot pedal to control the operation and speed? Well, once I was workin' with a guy – boy, did he f*ck-up … he was wearing sandals, not boots, and his foot got jammed in between the pedal and the cover of the machine and he couldn't shut'er down and he looked away for a split second … ripped three fingers right off his f*ckin' hand … so, look, you wanna play games with this machine? Fine – the f*ckin' first aid kit is right over there, but there won't be enough gauze in it to plug the kinda leak this baby can put in your hand …

So … who is to say which is the more effective instructional technique? Clearly, I remember them both …   

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I SO know this kitty … be sure you have your volume up for this …

Hungry Kitty

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I'm feeling distinctly uninspired to write of late. Actually, this is inaccurate. I have a deep desire to write, and much to express. Do I have the mental energy, the brain-space, to consider and mull over my thoughts in the way I would wish to prior to putting my words down for others to read? No.

Thus, my blog becomes a laundry list ( an odd expression – who writes laundry lists anyway?) of what is happening in the concrete, rather than in the internal, world of moi. For this, I apologize and hope to return to regular programming, soon.

Here goes:

– We are back in rehearsal for Fundy Boy III: A Fundy Boy Christmas. It promises to be great fun. Performance Dates: November 16 / 17. All proceeds to Fife House Capital Campaign.

Nearly New Blue Subaru

– I've plateaued at 30 lbs of weight loss … which I'm thrilled about. Some new clothes have been purchased and some altered. I'm saving the big clothing purchases for later, when I'm down another 20 or so. I'm working hard to get past this plateau part. My feet are smaller now, which I find curious and a bit troubling.

– New Car!!! Yowza … modified rapture when I learned this week that I have to take it in for service already as the air conditioner never turns off and it leaks all over the passenger side floor … hm …

– One of the reasons that my blog has gone unattended is that I'm trying to pay attention to staying connected to people important to me, in person, as I go through the maelstrom of a very busy phase of my life. In the past, when I've gotten absorbed in work or school or in a relationship, I have let this part go and suffered for it. Quick, or not so quick, lunches, dinners, coffees, visits … the face-to-face stuff matters. And it takes time, energy and attention which I am glad to give. But it has to come from somewhere. This human being is not an endless, boundless source of energy, alas. So some parts of my online life suffer – like the blog. And Curve.

– I'm also having to put more time/energy into thinking about the life lessons that all my changes of late are teaching me. If I don't pay attention, then I'll have to re-learn the darn things and time is running short on all that. Currently, the lessons seem to have something to do with self-perception, confidence and value. Do stay tuned for more on that … 

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I wish this trip could last longer … on the other hand, since my friend M lives here now, I may be back regularly. This is a great city, and I can see why both native and non-native Chicagoans love it so much. Architecture, music, very friendly people, user-friendly (except for the stairs) transit … actually, a very people-friendly city.

Toronto could learn a lot from Chicago about making the urban experience appealing.

Yesterday – walking around, seeing sites, heading north to Andersonville (a.k.a. lesbian-ville). Dropping in at Buddy Guy's Blues Legends club … more on all that later with photos.

Today – architectural boat tour and some shopping.

The Chicago marathon is on today and it is hot and humid. Very hot and humid. They will run right by M's building and she is down there now watching the first group of "professional" runners finish. I'm just trying to stay cool … not something I imagined struggling with in October.

Some readers may recall my declarations of "not setting foot in the US until GWB is out of office". Clearly, with my trip to Dallas last year I blew it. And then there was Hawaii … and now, Chicago. Oh, the US is a tempting seductress … and clearly my self-discipline is waning, rapidly.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend