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No Time For Time Out 1 comment

I feel a little bit like my head is in a vice this week – actually, for the next few weeks. I'd forgotten this part about academia and the dumptruck of stuff that tends to appear, regardless of every good organizational intention, in the mid-term. Exams, assignments, presentations – these need to be prepared, administered, graded. In this particular semester, due to a scheduling bungle, I have an entire class of "exceptions" to manage with regard to their mid-terms, and the usual number of students who forgot to self-identify as "exceptions" and thus need to be each treated as individual "exceptions", one-by-one, ad hoc, as they show up saying "oops". This is the most time-consuming and patience-testing part.

And I have a new client to tend to … and custody of my dog which imposes an unimpeachable rigour. Her needs must be obeyed. And I'm looking after a neighbour's cat. Thank goodness for post-it notes.

No time for gym, which doesn't help at all. I can hear some of you say "oh, make time for it". I've not ever mastered the "making time" concept. I've over-committed socially and that actually helps from a mental health perspective but not from a time management perspective.

The nuts and bolts of my life … I can manage them. It will be a stretch but it will all get done.

What is missing is the white space that one needs in every layout … the empty space to process, think and – for me – write about it all. When this goes missing, I know I get out of some kind of internal balance. I started to feel this a week or so ago … I think it is about to get worse … and I hope I can find a way to come up for air by the end of this month.

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On Balance, A Good Day 1 comment

This was one of those oddly haphazard days in which interesting things kept happening, sort of out of the blue. Mostly good things, but not all … in fact, let's just do a little breakdown, shall we?

The Good
The Phone Call: I made one phone call, signed and faxed back a document, and saved myself about $2K. Good phone call, that was.

The Work-Out: Last time I worked out at the gym, Sunday, I wasn't able to finish my full weight routine. I finished my cardio, I got part way through the strength training and my muscles said, "Mmmm … no." So I stopped. I've been told to pay attention to what my body says. Monday was hockey (cardio), Tuesday more hockey (cardio) and, today, I did the gym thing again. I whizzed through my sets – I don't mean I hurried. I mean I was able to do two full sets of everything for the first time. I guess my body just needed more time to re-build. I'm ready to raise the weight on the gravitron and to increase the reps on the fearsome free weight rowing thing that I have a love/hate relationship with. I can do 2 x 20 back extensions, no sweat. (Well, some sweat.) Progress!

The Weigh-In: Went from the gym to my weighing in place. I was pleased to find out that EVEN with the pizza on Monday (twice!), the dreaded Tim Horton's cookie and illicit corn chips on Tuesday … I am STILL at my lowest weight ever since second year undergrad. I've lost 66 lbs in total. Even more exciting, although my weight maintained this week (a miracle), my inches dropped dramatically. I lost 2.25 inches in one week, almost entirely around my waist/abdomen. Total inch loss: 54. I shrinketh!

The Feedback: Got some amazing feedback out of the blue today. An online buddy from another site took the time to tell me in some detail how much she liked my blog, which was really lovely. (Thanks!) Then, this evening, I get word from a former student who has just got ANOTHER promotion. This fellow is smart, talented, extremely focused and hard-working. He didn't get any of that from me, but he was kind enough to thank me for my contribution to his career progression, which was really nice to hear. Especially this early in the school year. Keeps me motivated and focused, too.

The Confirmation: It is official – five of my favourite muscians are coming to my party next week. Four members of Kindred and Beth … hurrah! Now, we're cookin' with gas …

The Sale: I usually don't look at advertising flyers. Such things tend to go directly into the recycling bin that is strategically positioned right beside our mailboxes. But, today, one caught my eye. My fav store is having a sale and the thing I need most – semi-dressy pants for teaching – go on sale tomorrow. Some people shop at stores like, oh, Fluevog and Holt's … me, I'm a Mark's Work Wearhouse kinda gal. Winner's, Goodwill and Value Village are right up there, too.

The Not-So-Good
The Productivity Lapse: I did get a lot done today. Just not as much as I wanted. Poo.

My Screw-Up: Someone sent me a funny riff on Sarah Palin and the Republican take on things through e-mail and, without fact-checking, I just slapped it up on my FaceBook. It amused me. I trusted the source. I was hasty. Well, moments ago, I just got called out on it as a couple of the facts are a bit wonky. I could delete the whole thing, comment and all, and pretend it didn't happen. But I think I'm going to leave it. It will keep me humble for next time … lol …

If Wishing Made It So: One of my friends who had been looking forward to my party now can't come and I wish she could. So does she.

The Bizarre
I can't actually decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but it is a big thing. I've been a member of a particular online discussion community since December 2001. These forums were part of the online presence for a well known, glossy lesbian magazine. Sometime, oh, 2004 or 2005, I was asked to become a moderator of these forums, along with 6-7 other long-standing members. The quality of the forums currently is questionable, but it did have its golden era a few years ago. Politics. Sex. Sexual politics. Humour (lots of it). Art. Popular Culture. Debate. Witty, and often just juvenile, repartee. Like an online global coffee shop.

I've met some fine fine people through these discussion forums. I've learned a lot, and I've made my contributions.

My routine in the morning includes … make coffee, turn on computer, check e-mail, check FB, check the forums. As a moderator, I'm looking more for trolls and skanky postings than interesting discussions. I nailed a racist joke the other day and I was pleased about that. Anyway, this a.m., I do my thing and … no forums. Gone. Vanished. No re-direct, no "we are down for maintenance, please come back later" … just … gone.

It is a bit like showing up at the playground that you always go to and finding that the city has plastered it over with concrete and fancy glass/steel monstrosities that you can't interact with. You, and all your friends, as well as the collection of school yard bullies, misfits and shy observers are standing behind a chain link fence, looking at where there used to be well-worn greenspace, climbing apparatus, and stuff that you could hurt yourself on if you weren't careful. But it was OUR playground, dammit! 

I feel very mixed about this. The manner in which this has occurred is really, well, cheap and disrespectful. No warning, not much of a contingency plan that I have a lot of faith in. I think the plug has been pulled. To be completely frank, the forums were attracting a much less engaging demographic than they need to really thrive and I was finding it quite tedious and difficult to stay engaged. But … just pulling the plug like that? Brutal.

On Balance …
Life is like this, isn't it? Hopefully more good than bad, and the occasional thing that makes you go "Huh?"  In between, there are bills to pay, laundry to do, mistakes to make, lessons to learn, and deep thoughts to think. This was the kind of day that makes me glad to be around … I get to do it all.

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