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Something In The Air? Click Here To Comment!

In the past 12 hours …

  • a moderator of an online community that I also moderate has lost it with an annoying but harmless community member. She is not "getting it" that a mod can't do this. This outburst came out of the blue, the rough equivalent of suddenly turning to your "slow" cousin and demanding that she not be so slow. I'm trying to moderate the moderators and, not surprisingly, the one who lost it is becoming entrenched in her position, all defensive. I think I'll shut up now and drink my coffee quietly.
  • a dear friend is having a melt-down. My ex seems back on even keel (phew) and now our mutual dear friend is losing it. She does do this periodically and my heart goes out to her … but I can't help her, neither can my ex. In addition to having a wide range of health concerns, this friend struggles with bi-polar disorder, bouts of deep depression, loneliness, and demanding neediness. When she is in a good space, there is no one better to chat with, or to have a good laugh with. When her demons get hold of her, she has no perspective at all. I fear for her that one day she won't be able to recover from one of her depressions.
  • I saw the movie No Country For Old Men. I liked it more than I thought I would, but it is haunting. Javier Bardem is one scary dude. As usual, I adore Tommy Lee Jones. The questions this film poses about value systems, among other things, will stick with me for a while.

I think I just need to sit quietly today, maybe do some filing and cleaning, and hope the ground doesn't continue to shake quite so much.

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Week Two – Addendum Click Here To Comment!

(FYI – I'm writing these posts for me, mostly. They are long and detailed and really only of interest to moi. I want to have a record of the pattern of days and what gets accomplished.  What I'm trying to say is that The Handbasket Blog Police will not smite thee if you skip these posts.)

A milestone was achieved on Friday a.m. when the phone rang and I could see on the screen that it was FBCCCW. I let it ring. I've never done that before. However, I'd put in my eight hours, I could see that she sent me an e-mail simultaneously and that it was No Biggie. This is her pattern – send e-mail, and also call to relay information that is the same as what is on the e-mail. She did not leave a message, so I know that I called it correctly. It felt so empowering to choose NOT to hear that woman's voice on, essentially, my chosen day off.

So, this week …

  • eight hours retainer time for FBCCCW
  • attended hoity-toity event, did some networking
  • planned some short-term outreach as well as some long-term marketing
  • satisfactorily completed the bio that will form a key part of my outreach strategy

    I realize that I'm a bit down about not having billed for any new clients this week. However, it is only week two. Rome wasn't built in a day, I suppose. 🙂

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    Reporting In – Week Two Click Here To Comment!

    Monday, Feb. 18 (Stat Holiday – Family Day): My "Family Day" was supposed to be Sunday, but the freezing rain cramped my style re.: driving 2.5 hours west to Glencoe and back. This has been post-poned to next Sunday. In any case, I was really looking forward to the Monday stat holiday as a planning, filing, organizing day. What actually happened was that I wrote the first draft of the bio that my business coach has been asking for.  I can see how a one-page summary of background and skills would be handier than the three page resume I've been circulating.

    I also spent a chunk of the morning on the phone with Dry Ice who is always tr̬s amusante. The filing / organizing did not get done. E-mails to drum up someone fun to attend this with me on Wednesday were sent. The vacant seat was filled Рmuch rejoicing.

    Some e-mail back and forth re.: the newsletter quote. Looks like this will go forward later in the spring.

    Sporadic e-mails received from Former Boss/Current Client/Crazy Woman (FBCCCW), requesting various document. files from me. ("Send the one with the numbers … now send the one without the numbers …") All of these have been backed up on her systems in two places … all of these have, at some point in my work history been sent to her via e-mail. Archive? E-mail archive? Anyone? However, she finds it easier to e-mail me and ask me for them again. The clock's a-running this time, lady … later in the day, around 5:00 p.m. (on a stat holiday), FBCCCW phones me. How much opportunity there is, so much going on, blah blah blah … by the way, can we set up that retainer thing now? So, I have a month's worth of low-impact, paid work … yay! As long as I can keep my mouth shut and protect my eyes from getting sprained from all the eye-rolling that goes on when I'm on the phone with her, I can continue to submit hefty invoices that, miraculously, get paid immediately. Much rejoicing!

    Knowing I have a month's worth of steady coin means I can focus on my own business foundations which, if properly set up, will serve me so well in the long-term. I can also get some ironing done rather than making annoying phone calls to drum up business. 🙂

    Not bad for a stat holiday …

    Tuesday, Feb. 19: All day, I kept thinking it was Wednesday. Weird.
     
    I got up early and bustled around. Today is the day my cleaner comes and she gets more done if I have straightened up a bit, first. Thus, the ironing project previously well-documented. Also went to the bank later in the a.m. to see if I could add my sole proprietor business name to my personal account. Answer: No. I have to open a business account, dammit. Made appointment for this Wednesday. Must find registration papers. Ref.: Previous day's avoidance of filing and organizing. Damn.

    I had a 1:00 p.m. appointment booked with Some Guy (SG) who wants me to come work for him. SG received my resume via a friend from MBA class and, normally, this is a good thing. However, I'm having huge red flags here. SG already postponed our meeting once, with strenuous apologies, claims that his website has been "taken down for updating and should be up by Friday. She is working really hard on it," and has sworn he is going to e-mail me some info on his company and claims to have already done this. (Nothing yet received.) The website thing really irks me. There is a placeholder there that says February 2005. Also, I know of NO ONE who "takes a web site down" to update it. Why would you do this? Anyway, SG calls at 12:15 and apologizes again for having to re-schedule. So many projects, so many commitments, he really needs new consultants, and his re-scheduling is a reflection of how much work there is right now … blah blah blah … Right. I told him that when his schedule stabilizes, he should give me a call. I think he got the message.

    This gave me the afternoon to get started on the stuff that FBCCCW wants. Mid-afternoon, the phone rings and it is a potential new client! Someone referred to me by someone I play hockey with and who saw that my company sponsored the hockey tournament last weekend – yay! Sadly, it is a non-profit org with very little money but the project sounded interesting. We set up an appointment for next week to meet and discuss.

    A few hours later, the phone rings again. Same woman, calling to apologize. Her colleague already hired someone to take on this work and didn't keep her in the loop. Something does smell a little odd about this, however I believe I was gracious and expressed an interest in being considered for future projects.

    That is the fastest in/out client cycle I think I've had.

    Long phone call with my friend who is attending the event with me on Wednesday. LA may be taking on some sub-contracting work for me later this year. Long story, and I don't feel comfortable going into too many details, but she has been out of the workforce for a while focusing on child-care and is a bit nervous and not feeling confident about the currency of her skills. She is very sharp, personable and could be a real asset. I hope she settles in and starts to recognize her own value.

    Phone call from FBCCCW, tweaking the four week plan for my hours per week. Also wanting to engage me in gossip, idle chatter, and raves about how much value I bring to her company. Yada Yada.

    Wednesday, Feb. 20: Spent some time on the two powerpoints that FBCCCW wants but realized that I'm really completely uninspired about them. Had a tiny breakfast (apple, coffee) and headed off to meet LA for the Canadian Club event. I timed it to arrive early so I could sit in the lobby of the Royal York and just absorb the ambiance while making some notes and doing some planning/sketching. I wound up making a list out of my Blackberry of the people I needed to contact with the shiny new bio … came up with 60+ names. Not bad. I contacted about 12 right at the outset of all this, about a month ago, and got quite a response from that, so 60 should be even better!

    The event was lovely, but I'm glad I had a small breakfast. The meals at these things are nothing to write home about but this one was above par. Salad, decent chicken, steamed veg. The speaker, Arlene Dickinson, was terrific and I enjoyed her solid, grounded, no-nonsense style. If CPAC ever posts the televised version, I'll post a link here. Met a couple of possible business contacts, nothing solid or to set the world on fire. It is good practice for me to get out and meet with new contacts face to face.

    Went to my weigh-in for the first time in a week, due to personal timing, weather, etc. I was not looking forward to this and was not happy that it was timed on this day for after lunch. To my shock and surprise, I have lost 2.4 lbs since the previous week. I had gone up slightly before, but as of this weigh-in, am the lowest weight I've been since university. Amazing.

    Went to open a business account at the local branch of my new bank. Had braced myself and brought all the necessary paperwork, but was missing one piece. The very nice lady there opened the account anyway and said that I should just e-mail her the last bit of paper. All done – bing, bam boom – no requirement for first born children (not that this would do them any good anyway). One of the most pleasant experiences I've ever had at a bank.

    FBCCCW called to say that the guy taking over my job would like a few hours phone "training" the following afternoon, thus sucking up the rest of her retainer time with me.

    Spent the rest of the day, well into the evening, working on the damn powerpoints for FBCCCW. Managed to dig up some inspiration. Tipped back my chair several times to view the eclipse, bundling up at one point to stand outside on the fire escape to get a better look. Alternated eclipse-watching and powerpoint grumbling with playing Scrabulous with Dry Ice, a formidable player indeed. Managed to call it a night feeling reasonably assured that I'd have the materials delivered to FBCCCW by the end of business Thursday …

    Thursday, February 21:  … but not so assured that I didn't feel compelled to move my 11:15 a.m. dentist's appointment to next Wednesday. I could have managed it, I think, if I didn't get my afternoon bunged up with training the new guy. It isn't a "real" dentist's appointment. I went in a week ago for them to make a mould from which they could construct another mouthguard for hockey. This appointment is the 15 minute fitting of the mouthguard.

    I'm glad I changed the appointment as I got to spend another hour and a bit on the phone with my coach. She loved my bio and had sent me back a version with a few tweaks. I sent her back a version tweaking the tweaks … and I think we are both almost happy now. She really was knocked out about the bio. She wants me to have a new photo taken that is "more reflective of the new, slimmer, you". I find it interesting that I look at the photo on the bio and don't really see much of a change. I see it in my body, not in my face so much.

    Balance of the morning spent on the powerpoints. I got enough done that I was able to sent penultimate versions to FBCCCW by noon. She then called to discuss, basically happy and asking, for a third version of the same thing. (Long story, but this involves changing just one slide.) Had to wait for screen shots to arrive later in the afternoon to complete.

    Spent 2+ hours on the phone with New Guy. I should say, New Guy #1. They have now hired three people to replace me, not counting the one that quit before he actually started. Anyway … NG1 … poor bastard. I'm betting he lasts no longer than the end of April. I'll meet NG#2 and NG#3 on Tuesday when I actually Go Back Into The Office in Guelph, physically, as in get in my car and go. At least there will be curry for lunch.

    Tomorrow, Friday, February 22: Non-work day. Housework in a.m. followed by lunch with Dry Ice, which promises to be fabulous. Apparently, we may play an even more complex verison of Scrabble called UpWords. I hope she doesn't try to get me to play in French. Later in the evening, one of the two violent/troubling movies that will be up for awards on Sunday. Either No Country For Old Men or There Will Be Blood. Going with my movie buddy, MW. There will be Vietnamese Pho afterwards.

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    Oddz n Sodz Click Here To Comment!

    Random Thought #1
    I've met two women in the last two weeks named "Victoria" who play hockey. Not Vicki, Tory, or some other funky derivation. Victoria.  This name always reminds me of my grandmother who, at the turn of the last century, played softball in a floor-length skirt. I have a photograph somewhere that proves it. They didn't have softball, or baseball, bats for women to use in 1903, so they used cricket bats. There were even men who coached the ladies softball team. My grandmother's name was Dora Victoria. I wonder if she would have played hockey if she had the chance. I suspect she would have.

    Like me, my grandmother hated her first name. The lengthy version of my first name is not suitable for use on either a softball field or an ice rink. I have first-hand verification of this. "Elizabeth" is too long to shout when you are cheering someone on. My grandmother hated her first name for a different reason. She thought "Dora" sounded like a horse. She really wanted to be called "Vicki" which would have, in no way at all, suited this tiny, distinguished white-haired lady.

    Just for the record, my mom hated her first name (Alice) and insisted on being called "Betty", a derivation of Elizabeth. Which is how I wound up with that handle.

    Grandma, bless her, lived spryly and with excellent health to the ripe age of 93 before dying, quickly and peacefully, in front of her TV set of an aneurysm. It was 1981.

    Random Thought #2
    I've lost a total of 43 pounds since June 29, 2007. The weight loss has slowed considerably since the onset of winter. I think people in the northern hemisphere ingest more carbs in the winter. That's my story, anyway, and I'm sticking to it. I hope to get more physically active as soon as there is even a hint of spring and either bike riding or jogging can be undertaken with reasonable assurance that I won't hurt myself, or anyone else.

    Random Thought #3
    I'm really enjoying self-employment. Some days more than others, but in general, people want what I have to offer. This is pretty neat. I like feeling valued.

    Random Thought #4

    I really like poached eggs. Much more than I imagined possible. However, it is important to time the readiness of the toast with the readiness of the eggs or the whole thing goes awry. I got caught on the phone this a.m. and burned the toast and overcooked the eggs. Drat.

    Random Thought #5
    A friend sent me this link to a documentary called How To Be Happy. Aside from the actual reason why she sent me the link, which will be amusingly obvious to some, the documentary is actually quite interesting. Turns out that happiness might result out of a liberal dose of altruism, gratitude expressed, and an occasional dash of hedonism. Interesting. I thought the hand-in-ice-water test was weird, but strangely telling.

    Random Thought #6
    Redzilla made me laugh out loud again.

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    Reporting In – First Week of Self-Employment 1 comment

    Well, my first week of "self-employment" wrapped up around noon on Friday. This certainly feels worthy of discussion.
    To clarify, I have always done some kind of consulting. It feels "new" to me now because I'm actively trying to build this up to be my full-time pursuit, rather than a side-line.

    In short – it's great so far! Lovin' it and the opportunities and possibilities seem endless. This feels like the best job "fit"  I've had for ages. Feels "in the zone".

    Monday, Feb. 11: Conducted two hour training session with my replacement at old job via webinar/conference call. Kept things professional and "cool" when he started to ask probing questions about the stability of the company, of the boss, the communications protocol (such as it is). The communications protocol is something like this: Boss – read my mind. If you can't read my mind, you are an idiot. However, I kept my mouth shut and my answers neutral. Best he find out on his own. He's super nice (not an advantage in this case) and quite smart.

    Spent the rest of the day making notes in prep for a meeting later in the week, preparing for a meeting on Tuesday, writing an e-mail to ask more specific questions regarding a newsletter quote I was asked to prepare, and making notes on the website overhaul, perpetually in progress.

    Tuesday, Feb. 12: A very exciting day. I had a meeting with a new client for paid work! The background: I've known A for several years as we are hockey buddies. A has run her own business, quite successfully, for 24 years. Her partner, both in business and in life, is M. M is the money gate-keeper. A is the creative life force.

    I had dinner with M and A a few weeks ago and they asked me to help them set up the frame work for the sales person they just hired. They haven't had a full-time sales person for several yeas, and neither A nor M are comfortable supervising such a person. What should the commission structure look like? How are objectives set? What kind of support should he expect?

    Happily, I've done this kind of work repeatedly and I have all the requisite materials – Excel spreadsheets, worksheet to show the flow through from lead generation to closing, etc. So we booked this meeting over dinner.

    Later that evening, they asked about my rates. I thought M was going to have a coronary. She couldn't dash out of the restaurant fast enough.

    Uh oh.

    I got an e-mail from M the next day, stating that they were going to proceed on their own with the project of  documenting their business processes, but could I please help them with the sales project? No problem.

    So, that is what I went up to their office by the airport in the middle of a blizzard to do. The basic scenario is that A is a fan of mine and M is, well, skeptical. Or at least she was … the two and a half hours went brilliantly. I provided them with a ton of value, materials and resources. My preparation was right on the money and I totally knocked the whole thing out of the park. It was relaxed, congenial and, at the end, M was printing off financial reports and shoving them in front of me and asking me questions about what she should do about this or that. A took six of my business cards  for distribution throughout her extensive network. I was flying high when I got out of there.

    I had a few odds and sods to wrap up between phone calls expressing joy and rapture re.: the success of my morning. For example, my former boss/current client 's son's resume. I actually finished this the previous week but felt compelled to review it one more time after he sent me a very gracious thank you note. I found three typos and a font discrepancy – gasp! So these had to be fixed. My company sponsored a hockey tournament the weekend previous and there were a few details to wrap up on that.

    This was also dog-care week for me. When I got home, through the blizzard, it became clear that Freddie was unwell. Diarrhea and vomiting … not good. Why, oh why, would she pick a blizzard for tummy upset? So … I bundled her into the car and we made our way to the vet. (She's fine – seems a temp thing.) On the way home, still in a blizzard, my cell phone rings. I had my headset on, as I was driving, and I took the call. It was my former boss/current client pressing me to complete a PowerPoint that I didn't realize was a rush. Why is it a rush? Because she has decided to take Thursday (Valentine's Day) off and, at 5:30 p.m. on Tuesday, has determined that she needs the PowerPoint first thing Wednesday so she can review it with her staff that a.m., rather than on Thursday which would have made more sense for about 10 reasons. So, several hours on Tuesday night were spent finishing off the PowerPoint. I can't say it was my best work.

    Wednesday, February 13:
    Phone rings around 8:30 a.m. It is the admin assistant from the organization where I have an 11:00 a.m. meeting set up to discuss a project they may need me for. She apologizes and asks if we can postpone (again) to Thursday as the fellow I'm slated to meet can't make it in from Oakville. This actually works better for me – no sweat. From 9:00 – 10:15, I was on the phone with my business coach, a goddess. The woman really knows her stuff. Every phone call / meeting is inspiring. The rest of the day was spent as follows:

    • prepared a detailed breakdown of the previous day's meeting in e-mail format, including links to all resources discussed. Prepared an invoice.
    • prepared a detailed, blow-by-blow estimate for a quarterly newsletter (see e-mail on Monday) for an independent transportation consultant
    • began work on a standard engagement agreement template for future clients. I have several of these from years past and need to cut, paste, format … etc.

    Thursday, February 14: As a Valentine's Present to myself, I booked a trip to Barbados. Actually, this is a working vacation. Seriously. In addition to needing a mental shift between "old" work life and "new" work life, I have several of my own planning projects that need my undivided attention and they won't get it unless I go somewhere and focus. This website, for example, will NEVER get done if I don't buckle down to generate content. Given the number of blizzards we've had, warm is better than cold. Will I be able to focus on a beach in the Carribean? I suppose this remains to be seen … stay tuned … I leave early March.

    I continued work on the standard engagement agreement template (yawn). I prepared and submitted my invoice, and an lengthy explanatory e-mail, for former boss/current client/crazy woman.

    My re-scheduled meeting took place at 2:00 p.m. and I think it went really well. At some point in the discussion, I shifted from "consultant candidate" to "confidante" and the guy was telling me stuff he probably shouldn't have been. I think that is a good sign and I expect to be asked back for deeper discussions.

    I went for a massage at 4:30.  Played shinny at 8:30 p.m.

    It was a good day.

    Friday, February 15:  A three and a half hour meeting with one of my favourite people to work with, my web gal. She is actually my graphics gal, but she is now going to take over my website fully – yay! Excellent meeting covering all the known issues and future planning for my site, and looking at my pipeline of potential client projects currently on the burners. Thought I should give her fair warning. 🙂

    I called it a week around noon, doing some housework and then bundling Freddie into the car for the trip to her other  Mum's.  Not too shabby for the end of week one …

    • Billable hours with two different clients
    • "HOT" business prospects with four different clients
    • "warm" possibilities with one client
    • "back-burner" stuff, that might or might not pan out … six clients
    • my own planning for my business moved forward
    • planning for a specific service that I want to offer by the end of April is in place
    • I really had fun at my consulting appointment – was totally in the zone for that 🙂

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    Ironing Irony 3 comments

    I hate ironing. I really do. Once upon a time, my friend M ironed a tablecloth for me so that it would be fit to serve dinner on later that day. I worship people who iron for me. Sadly, M moved to Chicago and the hope that she would do more ironing has faded.

    So, the pile of clothes that require the attention of an iron has gotten taller until, today, I bit the proverbial bullet and ironed. Part of what I hate about ironing is that I'm really really bad at it, it takes forever, and I can't always tell whether I have actually achieved any noticeable smoothening for all my teeth-gritting and grumbling.

    At the bottom of the pile were two pairs of dress pants, two of my favourite pairs of dress pants. I feel good in these pants. I miss wearing them. Upon completion of the Great Ironing Project this morning, I put one pair on to wear today.

    They are too big for me.

    Of course, this is satisfying on one level. But … I IRONED THEM … I went to a lot of effort and sweat and grumbling and mumbling. And, now, I can't wear the pants I ironed. Why did I go to all that trouble to iron something I can't wear?

    Note to self: Try on clothes first before ironing.

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    Ex Meltdown Click Here To Comment!

    My ex is having a meltdown. She does not appear to be aware of this. This is reason #87 on the list of "Why J is my ex and not my partner".

    Unfortunately, this "meltdown-not-meltdown" appears to involve me and it is annoying. This is a vast improvement over the days when such things were all-consuming, so I guess I have made some progress.

    Short Re-Cap: J and I were partners for 9 years. The last few years were hellish for me. The last eight months were hellish for both of us as I tried to move the relationship back towards an equilibrium that would result in less hellishness for, well, me primarily. It isn't hellish when you always get your own way. Needless to say, my efforts were for naught and I had to leave. It was a good thing.

    However, in the time-honoured tradition of the lesbian community, J has become extended family, of sorts. I'm really proud of how I've been able to keep her at arm's length and not let her in close enough to damage me, and yet still enjoy some of the things that drew me to her in the first place. Until these last few days, the last, oh, five years have been peaceful and a lot of healing has happened. J has also come to terms with a few things about her modus operandi … or, at least, I *thought* she had.

    Other Key Info: J is 22 years older than me – she is now 66 yrs old. Healthy, fit and full of beans. We share a dog, Freddie to most, Fang to one of my readers. Both J and I are currently single, although we have each done our share of dating since breaking up in November 2001.

    So, J has found a non-love interest travel buddy, S. J and S went to Mexico for a week, returning this past Friday. I was happy to offer to drive down to Niagara to return Freddie to J on Friday past as it would give me an opportunity to do one of my whirlwind visits with friends in that area, and I have many.

    On the long Friday afternoon drive down (traffic sucked), the cell phone rings and it is J reporting that they have landed safely and asking where I was en route. I explained that I was part way down the QEW, likely an hour ahead of her. The connection wasn't good, but I heard, distinctly, strong disappointment in her phrase "Oh, then I won't get to see you." Then, the connection went dead – the curse of the cell phone ..

    I thought, fair enough, she wants to tell me all about Mexico … I'm pretty bubbly when I get back from a trip, too … ok … so I left her a voice mail asking if she'd like to get together for breakfast on Saturday. Later that evening, she called the cell again, from her home and was pretty chipper about having breakfast.

    Breakfast: Cancun sounds like it was a fun destination and the snorkeling was good. But what she really wants to talk about are medical and property powers of attorney. As in, are we still willing to do this for each other? Well, in her style, she simply assumes that this the answer is yes, and wants to talk about logistics. Is there a card in my wallet with her contact info? (No.) Would anyone in Toronto know how to get hold of her if "something happened"? (Maybe.) She is going to put an emergency contact card in her wallet with my info on it. (This was a statement, not a question.)  Should we trade lists of important phone and contact numbers? (This was actually my idea.)

    I asked her, as gently as I could, whether her two adult, grown-up, independent daughters would be better choices for this stuff. She seems to think they wouldn't want to do it. I find that sad.

    When we parted, we did a quick parting kiss/hug, which we've done a thousand times since breaking up, except that this time she clearly wanted more from it. Euw. I didn't acknowledge that in the moment but I should have. I just pretended it was the normal "cheerio" and left.

    After all this, I then ventured out to have lunch with M who has known both of us for years. I told M a bit of the morning's conversation. We talked about aging, mortality and how that hits all of us differently, at different times. Later in the day, M reported to me that J had quizzed her on whether I had mentioned anything about the power of attorney conversation to her over lunch. Wisely, M said, "No – what did you talk about?"  J tried to blow it off as a light-hearted conversation about one of us dying or becoming incapacitated which, as you might imagine, didn't get past M's keen powers of observation. Something is awry.

    Saturday evening, I get an e-mail from J stating that she "may have made some assumptions" when we spoke in the a.m. and that we needed to continue the conversation to make sure that I have articulated "what I want".  I haven't responded to this.

    A few moments ago, she instant messaged asking if I'd like to go to a play with her, a good play, cheap seats.  After I had agreed, somewhat reluctantly, to attend the play, she ordered the tickets and then suggested I invite "some of my friends" along. And that we could all go out together for something to eat prior.  This conversation, along with the one about powers of attorney, feels like the "old J" – the one I can't trust to keep her boundaries in order.

    I'm overly sensitive to stuff where my ex is concerned, but I sense a distinct need for her to re-involve herself in my life. I'm not sure where this is coming from as it hasn't been present for years, but I suspect that something happened while she was away to trigger the "I'm alone and I'm going to die" button.

    The thing is, I don't want to NOT be supportive. I don't mind the power of attorney stuff. I just don't want her back into my life any closer than she is.

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    Times Have Changed 1 comment

    As most of you know, I live my life as a paragon of virtue, as pure as the driven snow. OK, as I look out my window here in Toronto, it is clear that driven snow isn't quite as pure as it once was … but I digress.

    I present to you, dear readers, porn. Yes, that is right, real, honest to goodness, porn. Except, given that this was produced in the 1970's, it actually contains no sex, or at least this excerpt does not. And it is worth watching, I think, sort of. 🙂

    Props to my hero, Susie Bright, who posted this on her blog today. An odd little Valentine, this … nonetheless, I heartily recommend that people check out Susie's blog on a regular basis. She has a lot of Important and Useful Things to say on everything from US electoral politics to sexual politics to sewing. Well, she doesn't talk about sewing as much as she *could* if she really let her inhibitions fly. The girl should really loosen up.

    I also recommend her podcast, "In Bed With Susie Bright". You can link to it from her blog and there is a minimal fee to subscribe – well worth it. Susie keeps me basically sane in an increasingly weird world.

    Speaking of weirdness, without further ado, may I present to you .. .Bat Pussy!


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    Busy = Celebrating? Click Here To Comment!

    I'm not sure "busy" equals "celebrating", but it feels like it a bit to me. 🙂 This is a busy, wonderful weekend.

    I'm playing in this. The team I'm on is great fun, but seems to lack that winning edge, that je ne sais quoi. We played last night (lost) and this a.m. (lost). So we are in the "total loser" game later this afternoon, right before the championship game. Great fun, tho … 🙂

    So, in between games, I've rushed to the grocery store and picked up what I need to make brunch for a bunch of people tomorrow. I'm making a version of this brunch strata. Mine will have spinach and ham in it. It is best made a day ahead of time.

    Then, I have to walk my poor doggie who will feel mostly abandoned today as I rush off to the loser tourney game and then rush off again to my league game that takes place @ 7:00 p.m. So, in a 24 hour period, I'll have played four full games of hockey. 🙂 By the way, today is "Hockey Day In Canada", so four games seem appropriate. The four games is what is allowing me to eat my face off tomorrow @ brunch.

    Tomorrow, I have to clean the doggie footprints off the floor, and then make a lite version of this ginger carrot soup which I am making by request to start the brunchness tomorrow.

    Damn – I forgot to buy wine …

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    Oops – My Feminist Slip Is Showing 1 comment

    Here is Robin Morgan's recent take on HR Clinton Vs. B Obama. I don't always agree with Morgan, but on this she has struck a chord with me.

    Speaking personally, and from an arm's length perspective up north here, there is something vaguely unsettling about the rush to Obama and the dismissal of HRC. Obama is brilliant, engaging, and very Kennedy-esque – what is not to like in that? Until reading this, I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

    It is the double standard, the mantle of legitimacy that a male merely assumes and that a woman has to stridently re-draw and re-draw for the electorate. The constant reminders of her qualifications start to sound defensive … what a hard road she has in front of her to stay away from any territory that can allow the subconsciously biased media to dismiss her in the favour of the more camera and microphone ready opponent.

    The US, and the World, would not suffer from an Obama presidency. He would be an excellent choice. But the US, and the World, will have lost an opportunity to re-align our gender and sex-role perceptions dramatically, and to finally challenge the patriarchy that has caused so much damage worldwide. And this can't help but benefit everyone, regardless of race. 

    Unfortunately, I have no insight into rogue's excellent question about putting HRC up against John McCain. I'm just not close enough to the US political machine to respond. Lots can happen between now and November, and HRC is a clever and talented politician. Isn't it interesting that political skills get praised in men, yet seem somehow unappealing and unattractive in women? Men have "spirited comebacks" and women "claw their way into contention". Interesting. I'll end with a quote from Robin Morgan's piece …

    I’d rather say a joyful Hello to all the glorious young women who do identify with Hillary, and all the brave, smart men—of all ethnicities and any age—who get that it’s in their self-interest, too. She’s better qualified. (D’uh.) She’s a high-profile candidate with an enormous grasp of foreign- and domestic-policy nuance, dedication to detail, ability to absorb staggering insult and personal pain while retaining dignity, resolve, even humor, and keep on keeping on. (Also, yes, dammit, let’s hear it for her connections and funding and party-building background, too. Obama was awfully glad about those when she raised dough and campaigned for him to get to the Senate in the first place.)

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