Ain’t No Flies On Me Click Here To Comment!

Actually, I was going to title this “How to Smell Good” but I figured that was too much of a set-up for certain readers.

Last week, I changed my Facebook status to reflect that I really was digging how I smelled. I’m sure this may have seemed odd to some. The backstory is this: my massage therapist uses a selection of aromatherapy oils in her practice. Sometimes, a visit with her reminds me of a visit to a top restaurant that has a selection of fine wines. She gestures magnanimously to her impressive collection of bottles and asks me what my pleasure is that day. She often has suggestions based on her own intuition. I just don’t know enough about aromatherapy to really do more than nod and say “ok”, and to veto anything that smells like oranges. I also, and with a twinge of sadness, veto patchouli. Secretly, I adore patchouli. However, you wanna find the lesbian community in North America? Just follow the patchouli. As much as plaid flannel, birkenstocks and/or Blundstones, short hair and short fingernails are the common stereotypes, so is patchouli. Shame, that. I can do all the rest of the “code” but the patchouli is just pushing it too far.

I’ve noticed that I lean towards some combination that involves lavender, something in the woody line (pine, spruce, cedar), and some other “x” factor. Often there are more than three oils on the go. Bergamot is often a fav, clary sage also puts in appearances, as does something I’ve never heard of called vetiver. I go easy on the vetiver because it tends to just put me out flat in a heartbeat, which is terrific on the massage table. Not so good when driving.

Having said all that, I know zero about this. Sort of like art – and wine for that matter. Don’t know much about either, but ah know what ah like.

As a final observation, I have, for years, dabbed on a bit of the Body Shop’s Ylang Ylang massage oil after showering in the a.m. because I like catching a whiff of it during the day.

OK – so, back to last week. I came away from my massage appointment totally digging whatever combination she used that time. Do I remember it? No. Do I know in what proportions she used x or y oil? Nope. All this past week, I’ve really wanted to reproduce that scent. I’m up to the challenge!

Yesterday was designated “time for me” day so I took care of a few personal errands. Took my broken ring into the Craft Guild. Had sushi pizza at the best sushi pizza place next door to the Craft Guild. That feels like cheating without  wizzy, but rest assured that yesterday’s was definitely sub-par. Sauntered over to Body Shop on Bloor and smelled every single product and every single essential oil. Came away with Olive Oil Hair Conditioner, a bar of White Musk soap (long story there*), and a tiny thingie called an “atomizer”. Headed over to the “fweep fweep” section of the Danforth which is essential oil heaven. Came away with cedarwood, ylang ylang, and vetiver.

But what to do about proportions? The vetiver is going to calm me to the point of comatose if I use too much.  The cedarwood is quite bitter on its own.

Flying by the seat of my pants, on my first attempt, I overdid the cedarwood which I think I can balance with the ylang ylang. (Why does it have the same word repeated? Isn’t ylang descriptive enough on its own?) I’m happy with just having tried. For those of you who see me – or rather, smell me – in person, please do let me know whether I’m way off base, or if just being around me is making you feel comatose too.

*Long Story, Beginning With White Musk
I can remember almost all my “big” relationships by virtue of the scent that the other person wore. This has both good and bad ramifications. Like being in a crowded place and catching a whiff of something and suddenly being irrationally, momentarily, convinced that the person from the past is somewhere in the immediate vicinity. Like being taken on a nostalgic, often pleasant voyage of memory from catching the slightest inkling of a scent. In case you are wondering, here is a olfactory run-down of past relationships, in chronological order.

1. Body Shop White Musk … and, Happy Birthday, btw!
2. Clinique original scent
3. Some expensive French stuff that I can’t remember the name of
4. Body Shop Lime/Coconut – intoxicating, still
5. Patchouli
6. Molton Brown, a British hair product
7. Something clean and fresh smelling, maybe Body Shop Oceana …?
8. Something strong and flowery, kinda over powering. I never did get the name of it.

How To Lose Weight Click Here To Comment!

[Cross-posted from Vox.]

So, I’ve lost 31 lbs since June 29, which any normal person would be happy with. Yes, I am happy with that. I am also happy with having lost 30 inches, in total. 2.5 feet. Wow. Yes, I need to go shopping. Aside
from a bit of stress at the moment, I feel terrific physically.

Unfortunately, I’m 10 lbs behind in terms of meeting my overall target of 90 lbs by next May. When Fundy Boy is done, I’m going to get to the gym 3x a week. That should help get the metabolism up there where it needs to be.

People ask me two things:

a) Has it been difficult?
Yes and no. The program I’m on – which I won’t name as I don’t really want to get into promoting it – offers excellent support and suggestions, in addition to herbal supplements.

Some days are easier than others. There is, of course, a connection between stress and eating. I don’t crave sugary foods – I find those easiest to avoid. I do crave fried or greasy carbs (pizza, fries) and bread. Some days, I’d give anything for a fresh Ace bakery baguette and some lovely crumbly old English cheese. The other night, I really craved this particular treat. I had some really lovely mozzarella on slices of apple instead, which kept me from doing anything more drastic and damaging.

I miss Gryfe’s bagels.

It is very motivating to see results. To need new clothes and to fit into old clothes I never thought I’d fit into again. I love it when people notice, of course.

Some days, believe it or not, I just don’t think about it. Bad food is just not an option anymore.

b) How are you doing it?

Here are my new rules for eating, probably for the rest of my life …

1. Drink lots of water.

2. Eat a breakfast with protein every day.

3. Reduce carbs. If you are going to eat carbs, eat a small amount before noon.

4. Reduce or eliminate sodium. Of course, this is impossible – but give it the ol’ college try. When you’ve indulged in a sodium-rich meal, move immediately, with all haste, to point 5 …

5. Drink LOTS more water.

6. Monitor portions. Learn what a real portion is.

7. Make a deal with yourself that you can eat a “restricted” food in a limited amount (i.e. pizza) only after you eat either a bowl of vegetable-based soup OR a  lot of veggies/salad.

8. Eat something like this every single day, either for lunch or dinner:

9. Speaking of which, make your own foods. Eat 100% homemade foods. Reduce the amount of restaurant and processed foods. This will help with both portion control and sodium/fat reduction. Unless you are into

deep-frying at home … which I do not recommend.

10. What are you doing reading this? You should be drinking more water!!!

11. Ignore people who say “oh, but you have to treat yourself … here try this cookie, I made them myself last night.” Tough tittie – keep your damn cookie. These people are not trying to help, they are trying to
help you stay status quo. Seeing others change can be very threatening. One week I found myself confronted by one of these people almost twice a day and I had to get really tough.

12. Plan for meals and snacks. For example, I eat an apple every day around 10:30. It keeps
cravings down and holds me over to lunch. Of course, this means I have to think ahead to have the apple actually WITH me. I cook a big healthy something (i.e. lasagna or soup/stew) each weekend and divide it up for lunches and dinners the rest of the week.

13. To achieve 9 and 12, one needs to get organized and make food a priority. I think this part will get less onerous as time passes. The weeks when I have not been able to really focus on this have been my least successful weeks.

14. Keep a food diary. Write all food and liquid intake, even if you aren’t sticking to plan. Keep a weight chart in the same book. Shortly, I’m going to add an activity/exercise section to mine. That way, when you have a good week, you can figure out what works for you. When you have a bad week, you can figure out exactly what went wrong. (You can also start to figure out how to “cheat” and get away with it! How much activity do you require to get the metabolism up to burn off those french fries?)

There you have it 14 ways (sort of …) to lose weight. Come on … your body will thank you for putting less strain on it. Taxpayers will thank you for putting less strain on the healthcare system. I’m taking it on as a
personal challenge … oh, and if you are not going to join me, please help me out by keeping your damn cookies to yourself!